I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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