Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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