Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
