new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
