does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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