why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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