I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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