Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm too high and old for this...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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