morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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