my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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