She is in my trunk
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
