I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
