I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
