There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
