She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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