I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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