just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
