This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize