found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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