Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
