You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
