he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
