dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
