i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
