I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
