Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
