everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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