I need help removing her.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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