i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
