so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
