im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
