I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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