Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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