you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
