Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
