I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Watching her eat just hurts me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
