Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
