my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We need to get me chipped asap
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
