Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
