this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
