Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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