Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
