my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
