She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
