how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
