As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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