Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
