The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
