batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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