Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
