community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
