just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
