Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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