I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize