Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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