i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We need to get me chipped asap
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The Olympian is in my bed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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