im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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