I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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