idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
