Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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